Sunday, July 31, 2011

But You Must Act Now!

Inspired by Lynnafred’s enthusiasm in incorporating sausage into a non-traditional meal, the other night I opted to experiment with boneless-skinless chicken breasts, breakfast link sausage, and muenster cheese sprinkled with grated parmesan and baked as an entrĂ©e for the night’s supper.

While I’m no chef by any means, I knew from experience that the chicken would need to be pounded down before it could be rolled around my inspired choice of ingredients. For some reason, though, our store-bought meat tenderizer was nowhere to be found. Who knows – I use it so infrequently it might have been sold in one of Kim’s yard-sales. But since I was pumped to make this meal, my shop provided me with something which accomplished my goal.

This particular 2X4 cutoff, left over from the front porch project, did an unusually good job of flitterizing the chicken despite not having the “teeth“ my missing meat tenderizer had.

The family subsequently agreed, during the course of the meal, that the chicken had the perfect thickness/consistency for the effort. They also uniformly agreed that this was a meal they never wanted to have again. Win some, lose some – I liked it. But I like cafeteria food too.

A day or two later, the well-balanced block of wood was still in the kitchen when the need to pulverize some ice to make an ice-bath to calibrate two temperature sensing devices presented itself. I have never had such an easy time making big ice cubes smaller.

Then it struck me – you may have noticed in the opening picture that this particular piece of wood came from either Winchester or Douglas county Oregon. If you’ve ever seen the Amish working hard at producing miracle space heaters on TV, then you might have an appreciation for why this board worked so well at what I needed it to do.

I have a small supply of Winchester or Douglas county Oregon lumber left over. Quantities are limited. I would like to GIVE anyone who asks a short length of this miracle, multi-purpose, kitchen device. Simply pay $19.95 shipping & handing, and IT’S YOURS FREE!

But if you act NOW, I will include TWO perfectly sized blocks of Amish-associated wood for FREE (just pay S&H on the second board). Call within the next two hours – Operators are standing by.



  1. I wanted to order but I see no mailing address anywhere, even in the micro print at the bottom.

  2. Time for spectacles, Frank. The fine print clearly called out the telephone exchange of 1-800 BR-549.

    Us fly-by-night types rarely list a mailing address...

  3. Ummm......hey Dad - can you please beat up a chicken with a 2 x 4, throw some random stuff from the fridge in there, and cook it for dinner. And Dad, make sure you use the "good" 2 x 4!! Don't want to eat any of that imitation Yellow Wood chicken! (by Steve)

  4. Your family might not have enjoyed it as much as you did, but Lynnafred read the ingredients and said, "That sounds awesome."